The feeling on night of 21st Nov 2009

Lately, its been raining alot and the whether outside was a bit of cold and damp.
Came back from work and a drinking session with some friends, I took a nice shower and sat down to watch a few episode of a latest chinese drama.

After watching it realise it was already 4.28am in the morning and supposingly i should be going to bed right now but instead i feel like jotting this feeling down on my blog.

As i was recalling me driving alone after the drinking session with my friends, I was in a very upset mood but it was hard to explain the feeling. The feeling of unsatisfactory of my life and loneliness. I was speeding home with loud music turned on... Tho it was an unpleasant feeling that i am feeling, but i am enjoying it.

I learned a quote that I could never forget and I have always apply it when i feel sad.
A not so much of a close friend that i met once long long time ago told me this when i was very sad on that night.

He asked me "What is Sadness" and I told him it was a "Feeling". "Exactly", he exclaimed.
" All of us human has the 2 most common feeling we had most of the time which is hapiness and sadness. If we enjoyed hapiness why can't we enjoy the sadness too?"
I was indeed very surprised with what he said and thinking that what kind of nonsense was he talking about. "How can we possibly enjoy sadness when we feel the pain in our heart"

But after a long time, I realised the meaning of his words. " Hapiness & Sadness " comes in a pair.
Without sadness we wouldn't know the means of happiness.

I strongly believes everyone of us has come across the feeling of hurt when someone that we care and love leaves us. But with the feeling of sadness, we could only understand the importance of the person and how much love we have for the one. This is the beauty of it... When you have someone to cry for is better than you have no one so be sad for.

I have now reach the stage where I have no one to be sad of and no one to cry for.
The only thing that will give me sadness is myself, my loneliness and my fear of not being in the right track to reach the right place.

Knowing that nothing can happen just when you wanted it and without efford putted in. Therefore I would be telling myself no matter what happens, I will still be moving forward until i see what i wanted to see....

A story that touches our heart.. Let it awake u!

To those who are married, .. Not married .. and soon to be married
MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day..
She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions... She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully..
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. >From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I ran up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.......I cried and cried uncontrollably and carried her for the last time from the room to the hall with tears streaming down my face and gazing at my only son, his tears rolling from his eyes, they made me cry even more. I had lost my love, my wife and a loving and caring mother and nothing I could do now to put the clock backward. I had all the time now to look at her motionless body in detail but I knew it was going to be only for a short while until she made her last journey to the Lord......I held my son and wept again and again thinking of all the things I did not do for her when she was still alive.........and placed gently the flowers in her hands with my tears trickling on them.......she was gone forever, all my tears would not bring her back .

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage?

The Making of "Trixis Album"

This is the Making of "Trixis Album" which took place in Port Dickson & Melaka. TRIXIS means " Three Sis"..

It is also the comapany that we built together.. Talent recritment & photography..



This Album is for our rememberance of three of us from three best friends to three partners and now three sisters.



We known each other since High school, since then we study together, party together, laugh together and share sadness together... Then we came out from High School we Bulit Trixis Together...



Now let us have a look with the making of "Trixis Album"..












As we have a very pack schedule to photograph many themes we have to be very fast.. fast in make-up is the first step..

We had packed a laguage full of clothes and acessories to match each and every themes we have...

At this time, sisters need to help each other in dressing up... as i have mentioned, time is very limited...

The first theme was taken on the beach in Port Dickson.... Sisters Cheers!

Go Trixis!

It was in the evening when we started, at that time its about sunset... and yet its still hot. Tho we look cool but we are sweating like hell....

Doesn't it looks like S.H.E album? hahax

Yea man! we really shouted.. Luckily there isn't anyone around or they'll think we're insane!

This is a happy picnic feel having on the beach at sunset... Love this alot..

(...But we are suffering from the itchiness caused by the grass... eehww..! Thinking back it makes me feel the itch again...)

This is to let us remember, "No matter what happens in future, we will still be holding each others hand.." With the bond that we have, we believe nothing is impossible..

After our photography at the beach.. We then go back to our hotel.

Moving on.. the next here we have is a pillow fight by me & Pink..

Well ya man.. We're really fighting with the pillows... Wosh!!!

Opps I have actually missed this at the begining.. This was actually my favourite...

Jumping so high into the air... *Problem free!!!*

(haha.. This have to be captured a few times to get all up into the air at the same time, Sorry for our photographers.. =p )



Then we have "The Advertisement shoot"....

Beauty & Spa Advertisement

Model: Pink Choo

Fashion Advertisement
Model: Esther Lim

The Perfume Advertisement

Model: Carmen Yee



The second and the last day of our photography.. From PD we head down to Melaka.. Had our lunch and then begin with our last theme...

The third one is actually a story based photography with the theme of Olden days...

The story is about three wifes of a Rich Husband.. After the death of their husband, they took over the business and run it together.. A Olden day high class Kopitiam! Hahahx

I was the Second wife to my husband. When i was young before I married to my husband,

we were in the same high school. We were dating since then but unfortunately during those days we live in old traditions passed down from many generations before us...

My husband's parents had an arranged marriage for him... That is why my husband had to marry the first wife who's arranged by his parents to him before me..

This is my husband's first wife.. She was also from a wealthy family. At first, both my husband and her did not agree for the arranged marriage but during that time they have no choice but to obey their parents. Eventually, the first time they actually met each other, they had got a crush for each other.

Therefore, at last they decided to get married.

Soon after their marriage, my husband felt so sorry for me and was begging for forgiveness. He proposed me to marry him to be his second wife. As I was so in love during the time, i have no choice but to be his second wife...

Eventually my relationship with Ah Pooi was also very good as both of us were down to earth person and we helped each other all the time...

After Ten years... My husband married another girl. This is the third wife of my husband... She was only 18 years old when she was married to my husband. She was a hair acessories seller in the street before she was married to my husband.

Well Man are man... They just simply couldn't resist themselves from the opposite sex atraction. Moreover she was young and beautiful during that time...

5 years later.... Our husband finally passed away. His death was caused by a stroke of heart attack!

And then.. We took over our husband's business of his Olden Time High Class Kopitiam...

Ah Pooi then became the head of the family...

Our Kopitiam's Advertisement in Year 1955...

THe End!!!!

The Production:

Models: Esther Lim (ME)

Pink Choo

Carmen Yee

Stay: The Legend Water Chalet (Port Dickson)

Places of photography : Port Dickson Beach, The Legend Water Chalet, Melaka Jonker Street.

Special Thanks to our photographers:

1. Steven Choy

2. KF Chow

3. Jay Wong

If you wish to have picture taken like this, feel free to drop us a message at: trixisclub@gmail.com

or leave a comment here in my blog..

CHEESSEEEEE!!!!!!!

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